When someone is mildly depressed, the first remedy that comes to mind: Exercise. In just fifteen minutes exercise burns off stress hormones and raises endorphin levels (the happiness hormone); now that’s a quick fix. Exercising regularly gives you the natural "high" to look down at your relatively smaller problems to see the total picture - then the solution. The problem is that people who are sad experience low energy levels, irritability and a lack of interest in exercise; they do not believe the counterintuitive: Activity Alleviates Anxiety.
Stress and depression are associated with dark words. "I’m not good enough," "What’s the use of trying," "I’m boring," "I just have no luck," "I’ll never find love because I’m not good looking enough." This negative self-talk eventually becomes automatic and self-actualizing.
The question is: How do you break this cycle and motivate this person to exercise? The problem reminds me of the fairy tale, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. One of the dwarfs, Grumpy, is unhappy and proclaims, "I don’t want to be happy; I want to be sad!" Clinging to a sad state gives a person something he or she is seeking: attention and concern. "Take care of me. I’m a victim." Exercise physically and mentally creates a victor.
Move the body and the mind will follow. I have worked with women who felt stuck in their jobs and marriages, steering them to strength training. Within a year they changed their dynamics; one was able to transform her marriage and the other moved on to a new job. As they put on more muscle and improved their core balance, they transferred these skills to their emotional lives.
Why then are there so many excuses? I’m busy, I’m tired, I have no time, They’re too sexy in the gym and will sneer at me. The answer is that many of us have trouble sustaining self-love and self-care. Another underlying issue is that we imagine countless torturous hours of exercise - a punishment instead of a life-affirming activity.
Here’s how to make exercise work for you:
* Make small changes to keep them. As the saying goes, small changes, giant gains. Look at all the big New Year’s Resolutions we don’t keep. Instead call them New Year’s Evolutions. Compliment yourself frequently for keeping up the good work. Work out for five minute blocks. Then add another five minutes.
* Make it social. Work out with a friend or join a class for group energy.
* Change it up. Enjoy the menu of movement: martial arts, zumba, spinning, swimming, sports leagues, interval training, body-sculpting, yoga, pilates and belly dancing. Go on hikes, ride your bike or just put on your sneakers and walk out the door. Sunlight is energizing. Listen to music with a good beat to go the distance. By the way housework counts when you do it with alacrity!
* Participate in a walkathon, marathon, tennis match or golf game for charity. Training for it will take the focus off you directing it to your favorite cause. Afterwards remember what they say - charity begins at home.
* Buy a new pair of sneakers, jazzy fitness clothes, or a workout audio/video. Do you recall how anxious you were before the first day of school? Your mother bought you some new clothes along with a new book bag, pencil case, lunch box- well you get the idea.
All of us have five basic instincts for happiness. You can count them on your fingers: The thumb is the instinct for survival. The second finger is choice - what I choose or choose not to do. The third finger is empowerment that we have something to contribute. The fourth finger is social. The fifth finger is fun. Exercise strengthens our entire hand so that we are healthier, able to express ourselves, feel more powerful, friendly and comfortable with new adventures.
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